Worked example: school uniforms
The thesis paragraph
Drafting and revising explains what each part of an essay does. This page applies it to one prompt in ETS’s format, from the thesis to the conclusion.
The five minutes you spend outlining begin to pay off as soon as you start to write. You already know what you want to say, so now all you have to do is say it. We’re going to pick a side in the school uniform debate and walk through what such an essay might look like.
Sample prompt
Example: thesis statement
School uniforms should be required because they prevent bullying, promote school spirit, and save families money.
Now, select the reasons you’re going to use to make your argument persuasive and map them onto the paragraph plan below—each sentence becomes the core idea of one paragraph in your five-paragraph essay.
Example: paragraph plan
Sentence Paragraph Purpose Sentence 1 Paragraph 1: thesis paragraph School uniforms should be required for 3 reasons. Sentence 2 Paragraph 2: discuss the first supporting reason Children are often bullied for not having the “right” clothing. Personal anecdote: happened to me in fifth grade and again in seventh. Sentence 3 Paragraph 3: discuss the second supporting reason School spirit makes school fun! Uniforms build school spirit. Sentence 4 Paragraph 4: discuss the third supporting reason Uniforms save families stress, time, and money. Especially money. Sentence 5 Conclusion The benefits of uniforms are undeniable. Here’s how it looks written out:
School uniforms should be required by all school systems. They spare children from being bullied over their appearance and instead help them build a more positive self-identity. They identify all students in a school as members of a group, which helps develop school pride and a positive sense of belonging. They also save families money by making current fashion trends irrelevant. After all, a new look matters little when everyone wears the same thing to school. When we combine the ways that uniforms benefit students with the financial savings for families, the reasons to require school uniforms are indisputable.
Body paragraphs
The body paragraphs of an argumentative essay are usually straightforward to write:
- A topic sentence introduces the supporting reason that the paragraph will discuss.
- A transition links the paragraph to the one before it.
- The following sentences add details, facts, examples, or any other evidence that makes your argument persuasive.
- (Optional) Conclude by connecting your paragraph directly to your thesis statement.
We’re going to follow the thesis paragraph with a body paragraph about our first supporting reason.
Example: first supporting reason
As someone who was once an unstylish, unpopular child, I know that uniforms could spare children like me a lot of embarrassment, awkwardness, and suffering. My fifth-grade classmates shunned me after explaining that they couldn’t associate with someone who wore such an unstylish sweater. I went home and cried, but my mother did not take me shopping. My dad was out of work that year, and money was tight. Recently, someone I met told me that he dropped out of high school because he didn’t have the right clothes. No child should feel that ashamed of his or her appearance.
Now we need to transition to our second supporting reason:
- Beyond sparing individual students stress about their appearance, uniforms also help create a positive self-identity and a sense of belonging within their peer group. Uniforms matter to everyone from the kindergartener who proudly wears an older sibling’s school shirt on the first day of school to the high school senior for whom the uniform marks an important life stage that is now ending. New students often find that wearing a uniform helps them adjust to their new setting: looking like they belong helps them feel like they belong.
Moving on to the third supporting reason: (Note: this paragraph is optional if you are short on time or only have two reasons.)
- Uniforms also save families money. When fashions change or a new sneaker hits the market, parents feel compelled to strain their budgets to make their children happy. Uniforms remove this stress because they mean that fashion becomes irrelevant. This spares parents the burden of making sure that their child has the right clothes to be accepted by his or her peers, which in turn can save them hundreds of dollars. Uniforms can even be passed from sibling to sibling because they won’t change or go out of style. For money-conscious families, uniforms make a lot of sense.
Counterarguments
A counterargument is a reason someone might disagree with your point of view. A counterargument paragraph states that reason fairly and then rebuts it, explaining why it is wrong or unpersuasive.
You can use a counterargument paragraph in place of a supporting paragraph, but there is no rule that says your essay must include one.
We’re going to use our original T-chart (the oppose/support chart from your outline) to construct a counterargument paragraph.
| Oppose uniforms | Support uniforms |
|---|---|
| May limit students’ free expression; the Supreme Court has protected some symbolic clothing, such as protest armbands in Tinker v. Des Moines. | Prevents bullying or shaming kids who don’t have the “right” clothes. |
| Students express themselves through their clothes. | Uniforms protect students who might inadvertently wear gang colors to school. |
| Boring to have to wear the same thing every day. | Saves families money because they don’t have to purchase such a large variety of clothing. |
| We don’t want cookie-cutter children. | Uniforms build school pride. |
| Some schools require girls to wear 1960s-style mini skirts—in the wintertime. They should at least be able to wear pants! | Uniforms help teachers and adults identify students quickly in a crowd. |
| Students get beaten up if they wear their uniforms on public transportation. I know someone this happened to. | They also help students who are lost find their groups because looking for a uniformed group is easier than locating individuals in a crowd. |
Let’s see how this might work:
Opposing reason: We don’t want cookie-cutter children.
Counterargument paragraph:
- Opponents of school uniforms often claim that uniforms turn students into “cookie-cutter children.” It’s true that clothing is one way students express themselves, but it isn’t the only way. Once appearance stops being a daily contest, students are free to express their individuality through their ideas, their talents, and their activities instead. Uniforms don’t erase individuality—they just move it to where it matters more.
Conclusions
Keep the conclusion short: restate the thesis in fresh words, then say why it matters or end with a call to action, as Drafting and revising describes. This one also answers the counterargument one last time.
Example: conclusion
To sum up, there are many reasons for requiring school uniforms in the United States. They spare children from being teased or bullied about their appearance, build school pride, and save families money. People who fear that uniforms will stifle children’s individuality are misguided because once kids are no longer judged by their appearance, they will stand out for their minds, their creativity, and their talent.
Together, the paragraphs above make up the complete model essay. On test day, you’ll likely write fewer body paragraphs than this one has, and you can swap the counterargument paragraph in for one of the supporting-reason paragraphs if you’d rather include it.
Revising
Save the last few minutes of your 30 minutes for the error check on Drafting and revising, which lists the errors that cost the most points: fragments, comma splices, subject-verb agreement, easily confused words, and wordiness. Here is one of them, caught in this essay’s draft.
For a reminder of what the 1-6 holistic score rewards—a clear thesis, logical organization, sentence variety, and generally error-free standard English—see the essay rubrics chapter.